What your kids want for dinner is YOU! ~ Creating your own Oasis.

I have been thinking about these exact things lately...I thought I would give this post another go.
~
Originally posted in 2011
Last month I attended the BYU Women's Conference with my sweet (and extremly talented) friend Holly.   We had a great time and came away from the experience with some incredible information.   If you ever have the opportunity to go to Women's Conference.... take it and don't forget to bring a note book to take notes....it is like having a "how to" guide on various topics!   I love it!!!!

One of the classes we took was titled "What your kids really want for dinner is you!" 
It was taught by two great women:  Heidi Bartle and Christine B. Christensen. 

sorry this pictures is a little blurry but I love it!
I wanted to share some of my notes with you and if I ever find transcripts to their talks I will let you know.

There were three different talks spoken of during this class.
1.  Courageous Parenting by Larry R. Lawrence.

2.  Good Better and Best by Elder Dallin H. Oakes
3.  Take Especial Care of your Family by Elder Neil A. Maxwell.
Here is an article which relates to the information given:  Recipe for drug free kids: Family Dinner

Here are my notes from the class:

• Dinner is not about the food it is about the relationships (this could go for any meal).

Heidi gave three important points:

1.  Create then Consecrate:  Consecrate means to make or declare sacred.

• The "Swing Shift" is the most important shift we need to protect this shift and bring our "A Game" to it!

• Keep our eyes on the big picture and don't let unimportant things shield your vision.

2.Connect, not Correct: 

• Invest full effort into connecting rather than correcting.

• What is said at mealtime is more important than what is eaten (July Ensign 1990 Improving Family Talk)

• Dinner table is an Oasis from life.   Think of the scripture that says "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest"  Matthew 11:28

• Encourage Family to use uplifting words during dinnertime (mealtime).

3.  Minister instead of Administer:  Administer means to perform duties, to manage.   Minister means to focus on people and principles not program.  

• Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.

• To Minister you give service or aid.

• A person is acting as an agent of the Lord.  Example:  Jesus washed the Apostles feet. 

• Grasp unique and spiritual opportunities.

• Emulate the Savior's example.

Christine Christensen said the following:

• Ask Youself - How, where and when can we share ourselves with our family when we are running around doing our own things?

• Do simple things together (like family dinner).

• Think precise not perfection.

• Family Dinners make a difference!   Kids need 5-7 meals with family each week.  Wethere the meal is breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner or dessert they need 5-7 a week.  Family dinner can act as an intervention for a child who is depressed.

• The Spirit and Body are the Soul of Man.

• Christine talked about Dr. Debra Moore and how "touch" helps premature babies.  Can apply same principles to our children...they need hugs etc.

• Family meals provide physical benefits :  teach children how and what to eat, helps intake of veggies and fruit.  Children watch what we eat.

• Family Meals provide Spiritual benefits:  Children pick up on parents values.

• Family meals provide Intellectual benefits:  Disscuss world events (some people have a world map by their kitchen table), lessson at church, school etc.

• Family meals provide Social benefits:  Can talk about the "rose vs thorn of the day"  or what "burst vs bubbled" in the day etc.  Family meals helps to devbelop the abillity to act rather than be acted upon.

• Children need to help prepare meals.    She quoted King benjamin "teach your children to love one another and to serve one another".

• She also stated;  "God hears and answers the prayers of Mothers."

In closing she quoted President Hinckley:
" What can I do better today so that the Lord can bless me?"

When I take classes like these I usually end up with tons of notes.   Many times I recieve thoughs and ideas while the teacher is speaking and if I don't write them down right away I forget them.   So I always have a little symbol I use to help me when I look back at my notes know what was spoken by the teacher and what was spoken just to me by the Spirit.   It was during this class that this idea for a family home evening lesson came.   It is a short lesson and it is combined with dinner (or you could combine it with any meal).   I wanted my whole family to understand a few of the things I learned in this class in hopes we could incorporate it better at home.

While the kids were at school I took some random paper fromt he basement and cute it out  in 4 sections to put each piece on each side of the kitchen table.   I wrote on one of the sections "Horrocks Island".
I then printed typed up and printed two different items.   The first page said "Family Tabletime is our Oasis"  Underneath that I put the defintion of the word Oasis.   The second page had the quote from Matthew 11:28 "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest".    I placed these on the table using something hard behind to allow it to stay up.    I could have spent much more time decorating the pages, table floor etc but I choose to keep it simple.  



For dinner I made sweet and sour chicken and rice to go with the theme of "Island".  
Once we had asked a blessing on the food and started eating I started talking about mealtime and how it benefits us.   We talked about what an Osasis is and how our mealtime is a place of rest for our family....rest from the hard things from our day and how eating meals together gives us the opportunity to share our feelings and talk about those things that are important to us.    We also talked about how it is good to laugh together and enjoy one another company etc.   I used the quote I printed out and we spoke about the hard things we face each day....I let the kids take turns sharing what is hard for them sometimes.   At the end of this discussion I shared with them how we were going to have more meals and the dinnertable etc.

The lesson was rather short but it went well and the kids have been different about mealtime at the table since then.   We eat dinner alot at the table but now we eat more meals at the table and my kids seem to be more enthusiastic about helping me set the table.  

I learned so much in this class and was able to bring some of it home and share.   I have been able to share even more as I set a good example.  Sometimes it is hard but I try to remember to see the big picture and I am trying hard to
"Bring my A Game to the Swing Shift!". 
I hope you find something useful for you and your family in this post!