By golly I think I've got it!!!

I have been trying to figure out what it is I am suppose to learn from this round of fun with my non-productive system reproductive system.    But I think I may just understand the lesson.    I need to trust.   Trust in the power of the Priesthood.  Trust in  my Heavenly Father.   Trust in my Savior...that He will not leave me alone as I go through this.    I am striving to be full of faith rather than fear.   I have my moments when it feels so scary but then I pray for help and I am blessed with the ability to move forward. 

At this point not only am I tried of dealing with this....my body is uncomfortable.   It is no fun!   I have been waiting to hear from my doctor for 1 week.   If I don't hear from him today I am suppose to call him.   For me this is such a big deal it is hard to remember my situations is not as big to others who deal with people and issues like me all day long every day.   But I am making it through and praying that the right decisions will be made!  

Today there is something happening with the cyst.  I get sharp pains once in a while and it feels different.   I guess time will tell. 

This isn't much of a post...but for a moment I needed to talk.  
Thanks for listening!

Ovarian Cysts - The pain in the butt Joys of PCOS.

I haven't wanted to blog about this...not really at all. By blogging it makes it seem more real or something. About 7 months ago I had an ultrasound done. This ultrasound showed my lining was too thick. So they did a bunch of, not so fun tests, to make sure I didn't have uterine cancer. I came out with a clean bill of health. After a lecture (that was much needed) from my Reproductive Endocrinologist (no I am not trying to get pregnant...I just continue to see an RE because I feel I get better care) about taking my provera each month to start my cycle I went home and was a good girl for 4 months in a row (lets face it...periods are yuck!). By the next ultrasound (3 months ago) my lining was just right and things were looking up. I thought "yeay, I can finally stop worrying". But then just as I was thinking that my RE discovered a little something on my ovary...the only ovary I have left. At first I thought "no big deal" because I have had plenty of cysts over the past 18 + years. But then my RE said this cyst looked like a Dermoid cyst....I call it my "vampire cyst". A Dermoid cyst can contain things like teeth and hair...what a lovely thought. :( A Dermoid cyst doesn't go away without being removed. Not fun news. But I think what I worry about the most is what if this is more than just a Dermoid cyst. What if this is cancer. I was sent home to have regular cycles again for 3 months in a row. Today I went back for my follow up ultrasound hoping the cyst turned out to be a simple cyst or was completely gone. The cyst is still there but bigger. It is taking on the look of a simple cyst more now but it still has dermoid features at the bottom. My RE is going to research through my CT scan images and my ultrasounds to see what he thinks we should do. So I wait for a phone call.

Why am I sharing this??
Because I want my fellow PCOSers to take a hint from me...

take care of your body now so it will take care of you later!
If you are not taking your meds to get a monthly cycle stop being a baby about it and take it!
If you doctor, who thinks they are an infertility specialist, tells you that you can go three months without a period tell them to go back to school and then you go find a new doctor.
If you aren't trying to get pregnant then talk to your doctor about the benefits of using Birth Control Pills to help prevent future cyst problems.
If you haven't had your 3 hour glucose tolerance test, insist on having it order and do it!
If you are suppose to be taking Metormin everyday then set some type of reminder to help you get that in your system along with some good vitamins.
Get on the treadmill, bike or go for a walk outside everyday and start eating more veggies and fruit.
I wish I would have done these things over the past 18 years! I have done everything but not consistently and not all together. I didn't take time for my health. I didn't want a period (who does?) and I didn't want to deal with my PCOS. But now I have to and now I wish I would have been better long ago about taking time to keep my body healthy. I spent so much time building my family and I would spend that time all over again...but I didn't take time out each day to build my health. I took time to love babies even though I knew they weren't staying with me and I would do it again but I didn't take time to love myself. My eyes have been opened. Once again I am learning lessons. I am worth the time and the energy. If I put more into my health I will have more time and love to give to my family and to serve my Heavenly Father. I know with God's help I will get stronger and healthier.
I just have to keep moving forward with faith.
If you are like me and have PCOS start today...get up and take control of your health.  

You will thank yourself later!
Image Source
If you have read this entire post and you are wondering -what the heck is PCOS???   Here is a place to learn more. 

Update.

I have this little baby blog I started back in the summer but after a couple of posts I left it behind.   I posted there today.   It is a place for me to focus on my health.  I am still blogging here at Another Small Adventure...I just felt I needed a place all it's own for my latest journey.   Come on over and visit once in  a while.  :) 
http://icount-myjourneytohealth.blogspot.com/

Picking myself up and running.

It has been one very terrific week!   Back in March of 2011 I started my journey to health and dropped 9 pounds.   Then the first week of April my little Spencer was admitted to the hospital with oxygen problems due to RSV.  He was officially diagnosed with Reactive Airway Disease but unofficially with Asthma.   It was hard to keep up with my new way of eating while in the hospital so I gave in and did what I had to do thinking I could pick up where I left off.  By the time I got Spencer all the way better I was sick with the virus and then it was another few weeks before I felt like exercising.  By then my fire was no longer burning and I just went back to old habits.   But a week ago yesterday I picked myself up and started moving.   I have been back to counting calories (using the advice from the Biggest Loser Trainers about how to figure out how many calories to each when trying to lose weight) and exercising very hard every day more than once.   It has been alot of work but it has been glorious!!!!   I can feel my body responding and the scale shows me 8 pounds lighter for the week.   So I am officially 14 pounds lighter than I was when I started this journey in March of this year.  I am thankful that the fire within me has begun to burn again.  I know my Heavenly Father is helping me and encouraging me to move forward.   I am so thankful for His help!

The words my doctor said to me a few weeks ago seem to ring in my head.   "Take time to take care of yourself now and you will have years ahead of you to serve your family and serve in your church."   This is what drives me....I want to be able to be here for my family for a very long time!  

Could there possibly be a better motivation?
Not for me!
Could there be a better month to start something like this?  Yea...December isn't the easiest to start out but I figure if I can make through this month I can make through any of them! 
Gotta love a good challenge!!!

Thankful for life!

To say I have had a rough few months would be understating things.   It has been an emotional rollercoaster.  If you read my blog (barren as it may be the past 6 months) you know some of what has happened in my life.    Recently I landed in the ER with an increased heart rate and paliptations.   After the docs ruled out all the scary stuff they sent me home with a halter monitor for 48 hours.   In the end my heart is fine but I need to decrease my stress level, lose weight, exercise, drink a whole lot more water (just the intake of liquids while in the ER lowered my heart rate to under 100 so I was very dehydrated) and my doc has prescribed me a very very low dose of some meds to help me relax.   This was last week.   

This week I had to have a follow up on an xray I had during a dental exam.  They needed to rule out cancer.   Today I met with the oral surgeon and after a 3d xray things look good.   I have to have a follow up in 10 months to be sure it doesn't get bigger  but it looks like it is just calcium deposits due to an infection or trauma when my wisdom tooth was removed.   I feel very thankful!!!!

I am still waiting on the ovarian cyst issue...I will know more in January.   I am so done with worrying and stressing over things.   I am ready to live again!   I am also ready to listen to my body and give it what it needs.  I am so happy to report that the weight I lost (a whole 9 pounds) months ago has remained off.   I have about 91 more to go.   So this journey is picking up where I left it.   I am feeling grateful that I have the ability to decide to go on this journey again.   Nothing is stopping me but me...so here we go again. What a great opportunity!

Playing Catch Up.

So much has been going on around here I hardly know where to begin.
I have my own health on the brain so I guess that is a good place to start.
Three months or so ago I had a biopsy done on my uterus along with another test.   Thankfully it showed normal.   I was asked to return and have another ultrasound in 3 months to make sure my lining had gone down (it was rather thick apparently...a common probably for women with PCOS).   So I recently had that ultrasound and my lining looked great but a new issue popped up.   They think I have a dermoid cyst.   This type of cyst you are born with but can get bigger.   I call it my "Vampire Cyst" since this type of cyst can have genetic material like hair and teeth.   Fun hu?  blah!    So I get to wait until Jan to peek at my Vampire cyst again so they can make sure that is really what it is.  It could also be a cyst with blood in it from ovulation (fat chance of that) or it could be cancer.    I would love the 2nd option the most...but I will take the vampire over the cancer.   Right now I feel ok about it all.   At least for the past months I have had many ultrasounds so if it is something really bad then hopefully they have caught it early.    I pray it is nothing.

The health issues don't stop there however.   I was in the ER this past Friday with a rapid heart rate.   This rapid heart issue started right after the whole" FSA warning couples" nightmare.   I posted on my blog about concerns I had to support an FSA letter that went out.   It was an INCREDIBLY stressful week for me and taught me much about people, truth, loyalty to friendships and tact to name a few.   The rapid heart rate started right after the nightmare was over for me.  It went on for 3 weeks and then calmed down.   Over a week ago it started up again.   I have had other stressors in my life since September...on top of my responsibilities as Wife and Mom.  The ER ruled out the scary stuff and sent me home on a monitor.  Tomorrow I see my regular doctor to discuss what is going on with me.   Hopefully it is something easy to take care of.   My guess would be stress/anxiety.   My brain doesn't feel stressed out but maybe my body does.  I am praying my doctor will be inspired to know how to help me.

I am still an Activity Days Leader in my ward.  I love my calling.   It is a busy one however.  Many wards have two leaders per age group....we decided to do four leaders and have two separate age groups but all four of us work together with both groups.  This means we meet each week rather than every other week.  Some people think we are crazy but it works well for us.  

My kids are busy in school...well everyone but Spencer.   I am happy to have him home with me.  Spencer's language skills have really taken off and we are hearing more and more sentences.   Spencer is so lovey and fun!   He is such a blessing!     

Brenley's school work keeps her incredibly busy and it has been a good but stressful school year so far.   But I will stress the word "stressful".   Life has changed in our home just because of Brenley's school work.   She is finally being challenged....hallelujah!!!

Haley is doing excellent in school and it appears to be a little easy for her so I am working with her teacher to help her have more challenge at school and work with her at home.   I won't complain for this challenge...it is a positive one!  :)

Camden is doing well in Kindergarten and has learned how to behave!  He has a great teacher and has a handful of little girlfriends to play with at recess (and he always tells me "Mom they are girls that are friends"...yes Camden I get it lol). 

Brad keeps busy with work and church calling.   He amazes me.   He goes to the temple every week, works hard everyday to bring home the bacon and loves serving in our ward.   His service blesses my life and the life of each of our children.  There is a special feeling in our home that I believe is a gift given to us because of Brad's service.   I am so thankful!

I have met a couple of personal goals recently.    One was finishing the book "Daughters in My Kingdom".   I love this book.   Even though I have read it from cover to cover I find myself back in the book very often.   I have learned so much and continue to learn as I open it's pages and study.    I recently read a blog where women were expressing their discontent with the book.  I don't understand how someone could feel this way about this incredible book.   I feel it is a sweet treasure.    I am hoping that in 2012 my ward/stake RS will use this book to create weekday activities.  I would love to dive deeper into the content of the book so I can learn more.  

The other goal I met was something I started in 2009 but then kind of left it and would say to myself  "I'll get to it another time".   After strong urges from the Spirit I finally finished recording an experience with tithing.   It is a special miracle Brad and I witnessed as we were building our family.   I wanted it on paper so our children would have a copy and I felt impressed to send it to the Ensign.   I have no clue if they will use it but I feel great  having the story written.    I realized as I finished how easy it would have been to finish it back in 2009 if I would have just taken the time.     A great lesson in why not to procrastinate.  :)

This is just a little of what has been going on around my house.   Life is busy but it is good!   So good!  

I have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving season!

Where to go from here?

This blog began because I wanted to document the life of my sweet family.   It morphed into something else but was also still a record keeper for memories.   This blog has been my listening friend as I have passed through health scares, been frustrated by mothering woes, infertility issues, adoption heartaches and joys and was especially helpful as I faced handing over my foster baby after loving her and mothering her for her first 8 months of life.   This blog has brought me new friends, great support and a place to write my heart.   I love writing and I love my blog.  It isn't the most read blog on the net but it is my online home.   I have been pondering on where to go from here.    Brad was put in our ward Bishopric in June of this year and my life suddenly changed much more than I realized it would.   Finding time to blog is harder now....much harder.   But I don't want to close my blog either.   So for now I am still here....my blog is still alive just not as busy.   Facebook has provided me with a great outlet in writing a few sentences of what is happening in my life without taking lots of time from my responsibilities.   For now I will probably post more there than I will here but I will be posting here.   I hope it will be once a week.  That is my goal.  I want to remain active in writing and especially writing the comings and goings of our little family.   It seems that my blog is morphing again...it is taking a back seat to other things in my life.   For right now that is what is most needed and it is me choosing the best part.

I have had questions regarding Matching Mondays.   I was hoping to start it up again this month but that is clearly not happening.   I will start it again and hopefully soon.   But for now it is on hiatus.  I still love children and want to help those who are in need of a family but for right now my children need me and they come first.  I appreciate every one's understanding.   I miss doing Matching Mondays and I look forward to time when I can start it again.

Thank you for sticking with me. :)