This has been an up and down month for our family. We are getting a baby....we aren't getting a baby. We think there is a chance we get to keep Baby A. with us.....we know there is no chance of adopting her. Trials seem to be the best teachers.
Once again not to count my chickens before they are hatched and not to give up when you know you are heading the right direction.
That when voices all around you are saying yes...the voice that I need to listen to is the voice that I feel inside that is clear and leaves me with understanding in my heart.
Even though what I am doing is what I am suppose to be doing right now doesn't mean it is going to be easy or I will get my way.
That nothing is more important than my role as wife and mother....even though other people say differently.
God has put me here for many reasons and I many things left to unfold.
That I can live through the pain as long as my Savior is with me.
I have also been counting my blessings and I am amazed at what the Lord has done with me and for me. I realize just how easily I love others and I realize it is because He loved me first. Just like a child who has bonded with a parent and then is placed for adoption (like my little Cam) bonds quickly and easily with his/her new parents. They love easily because they were loved before....we can love easily because the Lord loved us first. I love Baby A. I don't get to be her Mother forever but for today I am. She will love easily because we love her now. I will never forget the chance I have had to mother her.
Life has taken me many places the highs and the lows....but it continues to take me forward. So I will continue to count my blessings while I move forward and learn more lessons.