Tuesday, March 17, 2020

The Lucky Ones

*Originally written for Forever Bound Adoption. The Lucky Ones.jpg
Do you remember the song from Amy Grant “Baby, I’m the lucky one”?   It was a popular song while Brad and I were dating.   It was kind of a running joke between us...we would fight over who the lucky one was in the relationship.   He said he was and I bantered back stating he was wrong and I was really the lucky one!   It is something silly we did then and even talk about now.  
I feel like this happens when people who have never adopted find out Brad and I have adopted 4 children.   Suddenly we are put up on a pedestal and we are “amazing people” or “wonderful”, “kind”, “so selfless”.   These people are being very sweet so I don’t want them to feel bad but I do want them to understand the truth.   So I thank them and say something like “Oh you are so nice but really the amazing ones are their Birth Parents who made an important plan for them so they could have the life they dreamed for their child.   They  are the wonderful, kind, and definitely the “selfless” ones!   Brad and I are just benefiting from their loving plan they made for their child.   I don’t always say all of this...usually pieces or whatever fits the conversation.   My goal is to always to educate.   But I also make sure people understand WE are the lucky ones….having these amazing children in our lives….in our family blesses us and fulfills the dreams we have held close to our hearts!
Our youngest child, Spencer, was adopted through foster care.  He is considered a “Safe Haven Baby”.   There are many who comment on how lucky he is to have such great parents to help him with some of his challenges.   Just this past month Spencer had to have surgery for  a burn scar that happened when he was one year old (He grabbed Brenley’s flat iron and got a 3rd degree burn).   They did a Z Plasty to loosen the scar tissue.  He was still on the med from that when he caught RSV.  Spencer has asthma so respiratory illnesses are hard on him.  We ended up in the ER with a full blown attack.   We were in the doctors office for the asthma/RSV or the burn surgery follow ups every single day for a week.   The next week he started vomiting due to either the virus his body was still fighting or the asthma.  And just yesterday he was put in casts from his feet to his knees to help with his “tip-toe walking”.   Most of these things have zero to do with any of his life during gestation or at birth or even hereditary.   A few do since he was 8 weeks early.  But either way he has some challenges we are facing together.  After a long day I wrote this on my Facebook wall.  
He seems to be doing better tonight. Hoping it stays that way. He got his casts on today for his "tip toe" walking. He is actually really excited about them. He chose one red and one green. I call them his Christmas feet. We are still doing asthma treatments very 4 hours or sooner if needed, a different treatment in the morning and at night. He has a peak flow meter to show how things are going....his numbers are low but he is still in recovery stage. His hand is doing well. We are down to a sponge type of "bandage" that sits on top of his wound and then he has a pressure glove on top. Twice a day I take the glove off and wash his hand and apply a new coating of moisturizing lotion and then put a clean sponge on and then slip the glove back on. Sooo much easier than the big bandage changes. At night time he wears a splint that keeps his thumb/first finger area open. He has been such a brave kid. He has had moments when I can tell it is too much (usually in the doctors offices) but then he bucks up and handles it. I think of all the needs he has and I think of the decision his Birth Mom made for him 5 years ago and my heart is filled with love and gratitude. I am so thankful she has allowed us to be the ones to meet his needs! We are so lucky!!!! Good Night everyone! Thanks for the support! Sometimes it helps to post and just say "I am struggling"....I appreciate the positive thoughts.”  WE are so lucky, blessed and so thankful to have our children in our life!  Then add the sweet relationship we have with their Birth Families and we have won the lottery!   
Baby, we really are the lucky ones!

I have been thinking about this as we approach St. Patricks Day and I see cute shirts that say Kiss Me I”m Lucky or The Luck of the Irish etc.   All of our children have a little or a lot of Irish blood so it is a fun month to kind of celebrate that little part of them and us (Brad and I are a little Irish too).     I have gathered some fun St. Patrick's Day crafts and recipes you can use in your home to celebrate your lucky life you share with your amazing kids.   Or maybe you are waiting and hoping and praying this year is your lucky year!   I hope it is your lucky year!   
Cute kitchen craft by Jessica Weibel at JW Illustrations.
Fun toddler/preschooler craft by Tina over at Mamas Like Me.
These are a huge hit at my house.  Yummy soft pretzels shaped into shamrocks by Mariel at Or So She Says.
Fun idea from The Jenny Evolution.
Daniel Hunter at Snap. Scrap. Blog. Tweet.'s cute and fast paper craft to do with your kids.
No matter what you decide to do with your kids this month just spending time with them lets them know how luck you feel to have them in your life!

 Brenda Horrocks is a mother of four children through adoption.
She promotes adoption, foster care and Utah’s Safe Haven Law through blogging, public speaking and writing. She enjoys time with family, reading books, running, gardening and movies.
You can visit her blog here.

1 comment:

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