Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Fostering Love

When Brad and I received an invitation to come to some foster training classes we were at first a little hesitant but there was a feeling that we should attend. We did and we learned so much about what foster care is and what foster care isn't. We learned more about bonding and how to bond with an older infant or an older child. We were taught the basic truth that the human heart has an incredible capacity to love and be loved. We learned more than I could ever share here on this blog but I wanted to share with you why we have chosen foster care.
Inspiration... This is the underlining reason we are fostering...we felt we were suppose to. There was this feeling in our hearts that this was something we were meant to do. We don't know all of the reasons but having baby A. here has taught us so much. I can't imagine missing out on this incredible experience!

Family Building...So many people say how wonderful we are for fostering. My reply back is that we aren't wonderful....we are selfish. The truth is someday we are hoping one of this little special people will stay with our family forever. While most children who enter foster care in the state of Utah will return home to parents or close relatives ..1/3 of children will be adopted by their foster parents. Those aren't bad odds in relations to family building.
Giving back....as I mentioned above we are doing foster to adopt in hopes that an adoption will happen for us. But by being a foster parent we also have the opportunity to give back. We have been so blessed to have 3 children come to our family through adoption....to have 3 incredible birth families to love. We have so much love to share....a good marriage to share.....lots of laughter and a stay a home mom. This is one way we can give back....but still I say in the end the biggest part is selfish reasons. ;)

One common thing I hear many people say is "I don't think I could do this because you have to give the child back". In our classes we heard our instructor addressed this type of thinking by saying "what does that statement say about that person?" I have thought a lot about that the past couple of weeks. At some point in time we all have to say goodbye to people we love and it will hurt a lot to let them go. Foster care isn't any different. We love with all our hearts and then when we say goodbye we feel pain and grieve. I can see now that I have A. in our life, how hard it truly will be to say goodbye to this sweet baby. I love her just like I love my children and it will rip my heart out to let her go. But having this opportunity to know her is worth it! She has changed me for the better and I am so grateful I get the chance to Mother her right now. Do I want her forever? YES!!! While I am on board with the plan DCFS has for her....I want to adopt her more than I can express! WE all love her! She is part of our family and we would love to make that permanent. But unfortunately the decision isn't ours so we are praying that A. will be raised by those who will make her life the happiest. It might be us but it might not. Please pray for her, her bio family and the judge that all decisions will be made in her best interest.

So why foster care? Well we say ..Why not!


Elaine said...

I am so excited to have access to your blog!

TheVillamorFamily said...

I just saw your blog from Shanna's:) Glad to see you here! Your family is so big and I can tell you are enjoying Ashanti!! Who wouldn't!!

arianne said...

i found your blog through Amanda's blog I hope you don't mind me peaking! your family is SO cute and everyone is getting SO BIG! WOW! that little foster girl you have is BEAUTIFUL! you guys are an amazing family and have SO much love to offer any child that comes into your home. Good luck with all your endevors on your next adoption and also with foster care! you can check out our blog anytime to if you haven't already! :) it is www.ariannegreganika.blogspot.com BLOGGING IS SOO ADDICTING!!!