Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Positive Adoption Language

I saw this blog today and loved their post about adoption language. I am especially sensitive to this right now since Brenley has been dealing with friends who have tried to tell her I am not her "real mom". We have discussed this at length and Brenley has been able to help her friends understand there is nothing "fake" about me. The "real mom" thing use to really hurt my feelings. It doesn't so much anymore....actually I usually call people on it when they say it. The truth is both Stacey and I are Brenley's Real Mothers. There is nothing fake or un-natural about what we have done or our love for Brenley. And it is through this special Motherhood that we developed the special bond we share.

One thing I love about our children's Birth Mother's is the way they recognize me as the Mom and Brad as Dad. Through special letters they have shared feelings regarding this and I don't know how to explain what their words have done for us....especially me ....since it is usually me people have referred to as the non-real mother. Having our Birth Parents validate our parenthood is very powerful. I wish I could explain what I mean but I think it is something you have to experience.

Positive Adoption Language can help people understand that Adoption is a wonderful choice made with lots of love.

1 comment:

TheVillamorFamily said...

I understand you totally Brenda! Having the bp's acknowledge and respect your role is so enpowering! it in no way diminishes their role....but just completes/connects the adoption triangle!