Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I am not normally this keyed up....

But today I am totally irritated!
It is only Wednesday and yet I feel like it should be Friday.
This week I have had a few conversations about adoption with people who don't seem to "get it".
It has made my blood boil and irritated me a great deal!!!!
Basically it all comes down to helping people understand what adoption is really about
Some people don't seem to get it.
I am tired of being treated like a "incredible person" because our children came through adoption, tired of people acting like Birth Parents place because they don't want to parent and tired of people acting like I am not as bonded to my children because I didn't grow them and finally I am sick to death of reminding people I am their (meaning my childrens) mother.
I spout out alot about this on my other blog....I will let you take a peek if you want to hear more of my complaining on this subject.

My other irritations today come from my frustration with debt, my weight problem and the fact that it takes me so stinking long to clean my too large home (yes I will admit...I wish we would have gone for a smaller house plan).

We were out of debt just 2 years ago....but back in now and I HATE IT!!!!!
We continue to plug away at it and not get into any more but until the bills are paid we keep our belts tight. I HATE tight belts....don't you??

I am sick of being overweight...SICK OF IT!!!!!
I want to just go jogging but can't....I am too heavy and my knee wouldn't allow me even down the street. I need surgery but I am being a baby and don't want to do it. So I continue to battle with how to exercise without hurting my knee more.
Then there is eating.....I am an emotional eater and have gained weight since Ashanti left in Nov. I really didn't make the connection until recently....I have been trying to eat grief away. It doesn't work....I just end up feeling worse.
I am getting better about the eating...I am recognizing that I am not really always hungry. I am also remembering I like veggies and fruit. So I am taking baby steps in the right direction but today it is getting to me.

So what do I plan to do with my keyed up self????
I am quitting the cleaning for a while and I am going to go play dolls with my Haley. We are going to play with her polly pocket size disney dolls. We will have a story line and lots of changes of clothes and it is going to be so fun and silly!!!
I think I deserve the special break.

And then....I am getting on my treadmill and my knee better cooporate....or else!!!!

Just typing this all out has helped my blood pressure....but I am sure you all think I am a little nuts!. :)


arianne said...

I am so with you with the debt and the weight! those are two of my BIGGEST battles!! I am SO tired of being over weight too! My problem is I NEVER do anything about it but complain!!

I am glad you posted all of this here. It is good to get feelings out. It helps you realize you are not alone!!! you are an amazing woman and mother always remember that. your children love you NO MATTER WHAT and so does that hubby of yours!!!

I am sending you hugs your way!!

Mandee Lue said...

I love you, your a mom and you deserve to be silly and have fun when you need it! Or, anytime, really! You should check out this song - I know it's dedicated to you, and mom's alike -- it's and she posted this video you MUST SEE! If anything, it will give you much needed laugh! Love you!!