This post might be considered an "over share" ...
I like to think I am being daring by being open and honest.
The truth is....
I am fat!
Yep I said it...I am a chunky monkey, bubba wabba or fatty watty.
How on earth did I let myself go???
I have always had up and down weight.
When I was in college I thought I had won the battle...I jogged every day and loved it and I was always going and doing and I even went country dancing a couple times a week.
Then I met Brad and well...lets just say I forgot I enjoyed all those things.
LOL
After many years of battling PCOS and infertility treatments etc I worked on getting my body back and was looking pretty darn good...until I discovered the yummy taste of Dr. Pepper.
OH it was my downfall!
I discovered it the same time we were dealing with an Internet adoption scam and then our 2nd (and very yucky) failed placement. The weight gain was in full steam ahead.
After we moved into our new home and were blessed with Camden I started to lose again....and then this wonderful little girl blessed our lives and home. Her name is Ashanti and she was our foster daughter. We were hoping to adopt her. I can look back now and see that some serious weight starting climbing after I had to let her go and say goodbye. I think I ate my grief.
I also had an ovary removed which seems to have changed me somehow.
I am not happy with my body and I miss my old slimmer self. I look back and remember what helped me lose weight before and I remember one key component.....motivation. I am often moved emotionally by movies, books or music. I am currently trying to compile a great list of "motivators". For example my current list includes the book "Running with Angels, music from the movie "Sense & Sensibility" and the movie "I don't Buy Kisses Anymore". For whatever reason these three items motivate me to accomplish goals. I have others...but
I wondered if you might share some of yours with me??
Pretty please!!!
This is my first step back to the girl I once knew. :)
I like to think I am being daring by being open and honest.
The truth is....
I am fat!
Yep I said it...I am a chunky monkey, bubba wabba or fatty watty.
How on earth did I let myself go???
I have always had up and down weight.
When I was in college I thought I had won the battle...I jogged every day and loved it and I was always going and doing and I even went country dancing a couple times a week.
Then I met Brad and well...lets just say I forgot I enjoyed all those things.
LOL
After many years of battling PCOS and infertility treatments etc I worked on getting my body back and was looking pretty darn good...until I discovered the yummy taste of Dr. Pepper.
OH it was my downfall!
I discovered it the same time we were dealing with an Internet adoption scam and then our 2nd (and very yucky) failed placement. The weight gain was in full steam ahead.
After we moved into our new home and were blessed with Camden I started to lose again....and then this wonderful little girl blessed our lives and home. Her name is Ashanti and she was our foster daughter. We were hoping to adopt her. I can look back now and see that some serious weight starting climbing after I had to let her go and say goodbye. I think I ate my grief.
I also had an ovary removed which seems to have changed me somehow.
I am not happy with my body and I miss my old slimmer self. I look back and remember what helped me lose weight before and I remember one key component.....motivation. I am often moved emotionally by movies, books or music. I am currently trying to compile a great list of "motivators". For example my current list includes the book "Running with Angels, music from the movie "Sense & Sensibility" and the movie "I don't Buy Kisses Anymore". For whatever reason these three items motivate me to accomplish goals. I have others...but
I wondered if you might share some of yours with me??
Pretty please!!!
This is my first step back to the girl I once knew. :)
9 comments:
I love reading your blog daily. I found you through the wonderful blog of Mrs. R. This post hit close to my heart because like you I suffer through PCOS and infertility. And like you we were blessed through the miracle of adoption, plus had a foster situation that at the time seemed like the end of the world when we had to send her home.
For awhile before our daughter joined our family I let my emotions take over and ate my way to a not so healthy me. I hear you with the Dr. Pepper though, Coke and Pepsi also were my friends. :)
Recently I started a weightloss goal for myself. It's hard too, but I'm hear to tell you it can be done and you will do it too! Best of luck. But wait you don't need luck because you're awesome!{hugs}
AWWWe Thank you so much!!!! I am so happy to hear that #1 you have had success with adoption and #2 you are having success with weight loss! You are an inspiration! Truly!! PCOS stinks and sometimes feels like a life sentence....it is so good to hear that people are losing weight and feeling better!
And as far as those darn sodas...why on earth do they have to make them taste so yummy? LOL
Thanks for visiting my blog and for giving me hope!
Hey Brenda,
My hubby and I are on the adoption roller coaster - thank you for your blog :) I went to school with your cousin Jessica and learned about it from her. Anyhew, I have a couple of suggestions, first - my aunt has PCOS and also found out she is insulin resistant, where her body makes extra insulin and it would get stored in fat. She takes a diabetic medicine and has dropped a lot of the weight she gained through fertility treatments and the insulin thing. Second - my friend Tammie has an excellent blog called www.simplehealthytasty.blogspot.com, these entries tell her story with weight http://simplehealthytasty.blogspot.com/search/label/MY%20STORY
read it and see what you think. She has a way different approach, but I've seen personally what good can come of it if you feel like it's something for you. My husband and I eat like her now and are slimmer and healthier. What I found easiest is to change from the really sugary stuff to a healthier alternative - like maybe a more natural soda without the corn syrup instead of the Coke, and gradually just "exchange" things for the healthier alternatives and before you know it you're eating better and feeling good. Tammie always tells me to pray and search for what you should do for your own family, so good luck and if you want any more info you can always email me or her. You are awesome and I know that feeling more awesome about yourself will make you even more amazing! Hang in there :)
Risa
PCOS STINKS!!!! It is such a battle for all of us huh! I did so good losing weight with the book :The natural diet solution for PCOS and infertility
http://www.ovarian-cysts-pcos.com/pcos-book-res.html
I lost 45 lbs in 5-6 months. I kept it off until we started going thru the adoption process and then it was also summer and I got lazy...now I need to get my focus back because I know I can do it! Either that or it's "lap band" time which I hear alot of doctors are actually supporting for pcos women
Oh I hate the PCOS too! And it seems the infertility treatments I did made me gain at least 10 pounds every single cycle. Yuck. A little more than a year ago we completely quit the infertility treatments and moved ahead with adoption. That's when I quit gaining, but then I had to wrestle with losing it! How come it's so easy to gain weight and so hard to lose it? Anyway, I was working hard to lose the weight but then miraculously and unexpectedly became pregnant, so losing weight isn't exactly an option for me right now. Especially being on partial bed rest. And now my worry is that I'll get into this habit of not exercising and it will be hard to break when I can get out and about again. My other big concern is that I'll struggle to arrange exercise around having children. Since we're adopting a baby in February and I'm due in April, we'll essentially have twins. Do you (or anybody else) have suggestions for arranging my schedule to still fit in exercise?
Hey Brenda! Good for you getting back on the exercising bandwagon! I am a much happier person when I am selfish for that 30-60 minutes a day and fit it in. As for motivation I have a proposition- Train for the bridal veil 10K (thats around 6-miles)with me? I did it for the first time this year and it was so fun! The dates aren't posted yet but I'm guessing that it will be around the end of May. Getting fit and exercising are much easier when you've got a goal besides just loosing weight:)!
My motivation for losing weight right now is this qoute that my sister shared with me.....
The pain of discipline hurts less than the pain of regret.
I don't want to regret anymore..... Hope that helps!
Good for you!!! Good luck on your weightloss journey!
Someday I'm going to get back to the weight I want to be. I've gained close to 20 lbs in the last year since Nathan was laid off from his job, losing our baby (the failed placement), Nathan getting another job out of state and never being home, adopting N'iel and surviving his crazy adjustment period, then Nathan being laid off AGAIN and still not having employment after 3 months...
its just not my year to lose weight! I *really* hope next year is painfully boring.
Brenda I am right there with you with weight gain. I HATE IT! Why does food have to taste so good?
I am going to start this couch to
5k program. you should start too and we can run our first 5k together!!
here is the program I hope to start SOON!!
http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml
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