I wrote this a few years ago but felt impressed to share it again today. We are at the end of November and National Adoption month and what better way to end a month of adoption posts that to share with my family's story in a nutshell.
Goodbye National Adoption Month...we look forward to seeing you again next year.
I am looking forward to December and have some guest writers lined up to share some special Christmas thoughts with us. Today I am excited to share with you an article I wrote as a KSL Contributor. It is my first publication on KSL. I hope you enjoy it.
You can find it here.
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Adoption Changes Things
by Brenda Horrocks
(written for and published in Utah's Adoption Connection Newsletter Nov. 2010)
(written for and published in Utah's Adoption Connection Newsletter Nov. 2010)
When
Brad and I got married 16 years ago we never dreamed the journey we
would take to bring children to our family. We thought we would do
what everyone does…..get pregnant and give birth. When our
expectations weren’t what we wanted them to be we started to question
life. I especially had a hard time with the diagnosis of infertility….it
felt like a death sentence. At some point during treatments we came
to the realization that being parents was more important than being
pregnant. It was during this time our hearts turned to adoption and we
started to realize we weren’t like “everyone”.
We had a special journey to make to become parents.
Our
oldest daughter, Brenley, was born July14, 2000. Thirty six hours
after her birth her Birth Grandmother placed her in our arms. It was
an incredible feeling to hold her for the first time. We already loved
her and from that moment forward the love just grew. On October 31,
2002 our second daughter, Haley, was born and then two days later placed
in our arms by her incredible Birth Parents. Just when we thought we
couldn’t love more….the love multiplied again and we wondered how we
lived without these two sweet daughters.
After
returning to fertility treatments again and developing a life
threatening complication we were happy to say goodbye to treatment
forever and felt incredible peace as we tried to adopt a 3rd time.After
an internet scam and a failed placement Camden was placed in our arms by
his sweet Birth Mother…not as a newborn…rather an 8 month old baby
boy. Camden’s Birth Mother searched for a family to place her baby
with while pregnant. She contacted us and we felt an instant connection
and developed a friendship…. but after considering and reconsidering
her decision she decided to parent. We continued our friendship and to
our surprise she called us and told us she felt Camden belong with
us. A few days later on December 17, 2006 Camden joined our family and
was welcomed by two big sisters who couldn’t have been happier. After
his Birth Mother placed him in our arms she followed us home where we
celebrated Camden together in a special placement dinner in her honor.
We love having openness with her and our other Birth Mothers and we can
see how we all benefit from these friendships.
It
was during our journey to a third child that our eyes were opened to
being foster parents. After taking classes and getting approved we
became licensed and in 2007 we had our first placement. After a couple
of weeks these children left our home. A few months later we welcomed a
newborn named Ashanti. Ashanti changed our lives forever. She was a
special gift to our family for 8 months. Saying goodbye to her was the
hardest thing we have ever done but the memory of caring for her and
having her part of our family is something we will always treasure.
We ended up saying goodbye to 8 children…all were incredible and we
still feel love for each of them. We miss them….especially the 2 babies
we had for a longer period of time.
We
were still hoping there would come a day we would get to adopt again
but we had developed a love for fostering so we were moving forward.
Early in August of 2009 we received the call of our dreams. A young
woman who had been in foster care herself wanted to give her baby a Mom
and a Dad and a happy life. Something she stated that she never
had. In August of 2009 our youngest child was placed with us at the
hospital while he was in the NICU. Our joy was full….our entire family
rejoiced as we welcomed this little tiny boy into our family. Here we
are a year later enjoying the blessing of being together and enjoying
our little 13 month old as he learns new things! After seeing children
come into our home and hearts and then feeling sad as they leave, we
feel like the luckiest family in the world to have our little guy with
us to stay!
Once
we became foster parents I started browsing the internet to learn about
children who were waiting to be adopted. I was heartsick by what I
saw…..so many children who needed a home. I looked through sites from
every state and the realization of the need that is out there touched me
deeply. As I tried to sleep at night the face of these beautiful
children haunted me and I wondered what I could do. Out of desperation
to try and help even in the smallest way I put links to a few children
on my blog. Overtime this turned into what I have named “Matching
Mondays”. Each Monday I feature a few waiting children on my blog
hoping someone’s heart will be touched and changed and people’s eyes
will be opened to these children and the need that exists. I thought
only broken teens were the ones available for adoption but what I found
was incredible children of all ages who were hoping for a family of
their own and for people who will help them become what they dream. I
quickly saw that while some of these children have been through a great
deal there are no broken children…..only broken promises.
Adoption
has changed our lives forever. It has brought us a beautiful family.
Adoption opened the door to becoming foster parents. Fostering children
has also changed us…we are no longer blind to the needs of children
around us. We have witnessed families struggling, drug abuse and
neglect. But we have also witnessed the miracle of a fresh start and
hard work that brings lasting change and touches a family in a way that
leaves them better than before. We have also come to realize that just
as we dreamed of a family all our own we know there are children with
the same dream. We realize had we been able to build our family “like
everyone else” then we would have missed out on so much learning and so
much joy! Our journey to parenthood has been a roller coaster with huge
ups and downs but we are better people because of the ride!
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