Saturday, May 2, 2009

Aching arms.

Last night I had a dream about my favorite baby.
She came to visit and she was around 3 years old.
She remembered me and talked to me and hugged me.
She knew I loved her very much.
My arms ache for her this morning!
I want her here with me...to care for her and love her and mother her.
Just when I think I am doing better...the ache in my heart flares up again.
I love her so much!!!!

Her wonderful Aunt left me a message on my cell phone. I found it this morning. I didn't even realize I had missed a call. Once I get myself together emotionally I will return her call. She is like a lifeline for me. She shares with me how Ashanti is doing. I am so thankful for this sweet lady!!!!

I have wondered how long it takes other foster parents to be able to talk about the child they had to say goodbye to and NOT cry or get emotional.
I thought maybe I knew...but I don't.
Maybe someday I will.

1 comment:

Cindy said...

I love your blog. I love reading someone else's experiences, especially with foster care. We've been fostering our first foster baby for almost 7 months now. He just turned 1 last week. We are loving having him and it now looks like we may have him a few more months. I completely dread the heartache I know I'm going to feel when he goes home though. I will miss him so much!