Thursday, February 23, 2012

Do I have Value?

Image from Activity Days project I did with my cute Activity Day girls.

It has been a strange sort of day.  
One that has made me stop and wonder
- What do I have of value to give to another being here on this earth? 
Today I was feeling like the answer would be  - nothing really.

 I use to feel like I had so much to give to much to share....especially when I was highly involved in adoption or foster care.   But I feel this sort of empty spot that sits inside me these days.  

Today it kind of came all out along with a seriously sad cry fest on my pillow.  
But I think I needed to have the feelings come to the surface.  They have been mulling around inside of me for weeks...months really.  

If my honest answer to the first question is
- nothing -
then the next question is
- Do I have value?

While there are days I feel like I don't....deep down I know that idea is false. 
I do have value.
I am a Daughter of God who loves me.  
If He loves me then I am of worth. 
He being a loving and kind Father gives gifts to His Children (Matthew 7:11 & D&C 46:11) so if He loves me, which I know He does, then He has given me gifts.....therefore I  have something of value to share with another here on this Earth.  I know this to be true.   I know each of us have been given something special and extraordinary from our loving Father.   Sometimes it is hard to see and understand because there are so many voices around us trying to make us believe we are nothing with nothing to share.  

Today I spoke with a dear friend who helped me see that #1 I am not the only one who feels this way today.   She has just spoken with another friend who was feeling a similar way and my friend expressed that she herself had been feeling this way recently.   And then she helped me see #2  she finds value in me and went on to explain how.   This was a very touching conversation to me.   When I hung up the phone I didn't feel so different from others  and I pondered over my friends words about what I have taught her.   My friend was an answer to a pray today.   The funny thing is, she didn't call me, I called her.   I think that is an important point for me to remember.   Sometimes I have to step up and do something to help myself.   I didn't really call her for help but I did something when I called and then God blessed me with the rest.  

So I have decided to continue this and make a pattern of "doing something".   Rather than sit and wonder what I have to give or share that is of value I can give of myself and God will give the value it needs to help another.  

So today the pattern begins. 
If you are feeling a little of what I have been I hope this post helps you see that
We all do and we all have something to give to others in this beautiful world!  
I think the more we give of ourselves the more we understand the value of who we are and what gifts we have been granted.

As I close this post I have a sweet little boy jumping into my arms wanting attention from me.  
 He definitely thinks I have something of value.....feels so good!!!!

1 comment:

Becky Jones said...

My dear friend Brenda you have worth and you make a huge difference in my life!!!! I enjoyed reading your post and please know I've felt this way before too. This is one of Satan's biggest tools against us. You are amazing, never forget that!!!